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Newlyweds
who keep the romance alive for at least the first two years of marriage
may be more likely to stay together for the long run.
Those couples headed for a quick divorce -- in less
than two years -- tended to become disillusioned
and negative toward
one another within two months of being wed.
Those who go the middle distance -- two to seven years -- may
be very romantic and loving at first, almost "giddily" in love.
But if feelings wane and partners become disillusioned within the first
year, it could be a sign of trouble.
Those couples most likely
to be married for the long-term are those who maintain their positive
feelings for their spouse for at least the first two years.
Researchers followed 156 couples married for the first
time in 1981. After 13 years:
- 68 of the couples
were happily married
- 32 were unhappily married
- 56 had divorced
The researchers divided the divorced couples into
two groups: those who had divorced between two and seven years after marriage,
and those whose marriages lasted at least seven years. They chose this
point because the average length of
marriage for couples who divorce in the United States is seven years.
The researchers found that the likelihood of divorce
depended significantly on how much the marriage changed away from the
romantic ideal over its first two years.
Couples who divorced quickly had a weak, frayed alliance
as newlyweds, whereas those who divorced after two or more years showed
evidence of becoming disillusioned with each other and their relationship
over time.
Among couples who stayed married, the researchers
found, differences between the happily married and unhappily married groups
were apparent right after they tied the knot.
Compared with the unhappily married couples, those
with happy marriages were
more deeply in love as newlyweds and saw each other as possessing
a more responsive personality; they also reported less ambivalence about
their relationship and expressed negativity toward one another less often.
The couples who wound up divorcing
after seven years were actually the most
affectionate as newlyweds, even more so than those with happy
marriages, but their affection toward one another dropped dramatically
during the first year of marriage.
Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology 2001;80:237-252
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