The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

BeyondOrganic — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 23:12:59 GMT

Katie B..... I for one think it takes a strong big person to open up something personal about one's life that might be painful and share it with others. How sad it is to take what someone opens up to share with others and then to have someone use it later to put you down! To intenionally slander someone and demean them publicly is extremely cruel! And I think it takes a low person to leave one's spouse! Unless they divorce due to infidelity. So, if anyone shoud be embarrassed of their actions, that should be the Mrs. who left him! NOT the other way around! Do you Katie lead and always have a pure and never an embarrassing moment in your life? Is there not one thing about you or your life that anyone could say negatively about you? It must be nice to be so perfect! And only have perfect people in your life!!

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

kgaines — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 02:11:08 GMT

My husband informed me this weekend that he was taking a month and a half "off". We have a 100 year old house and 5 acres, 3 barns, a pond, a camper, animals, etc...must be nice. I want a month and a half off too!

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

SkyWatcher13 — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:21:01 GMT

Thank yous are wonderful in a marriage or even our relationships at work. I know that when I haven't felt appreciated for the things that I have done, that my inner child starts acting out, and I can be quite difficult to be around.

Something that both my husband and I have learned that really helps our relationship is to say, "Yes, dear," in response to our partner's requests. And then even add, "and is there anything else?"

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

Katharine — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 16:46:15 GMT

So many of us (myself included) wait angrily for our spouse to become uber-sensitive and begin intuiting our needs or to use their psychic powers to figure out when we want help. If one person is bearing too much responsibility for chores or childcare in a loving relationship it is because the other person doesn't realise that their assistance is needed or wanted. Don't be embarassed to just ask your spouse for help before you are completely cranky and burnt out.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

a_sojourner — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:00:59 GMT

Me thinks I'll just remain unmarried... life is much simpler.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

KAC — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 10:20:33 GMT

I read an article that indicated when women do chores, they do them and that is the end of it. If men do chores, they do them and announce to others what they did and expect a pat on the back. A women can do 30 different chores that takes hours and the man does one chore that takes 10 minutes and they want everyone to know what they did. I thought that was interesting since this does happen to me.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

Kimbo — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 09:40:00 GMT

If your marriage is going through a difficult phase then a great book to read is "The Five Love Languages" by Dr Gary Chapman.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

seg — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 14:33:34 GMT

I believe it should not just be "thank you" it should be thank you DEAR .
Plain thank you sounds kinda military, however adding the word "dear" gives it that extra pizzaz.......

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

minnie-me — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 04:55:42 GMT

Nobody ever included me in a study such as this one. I came from a family of 6... 4 boys, 2 girls. The boys were expected to do every bit as much housework as the girls, and I have to admit that they were much better at it than I was. To this day, they help their wives. The only time in my life when I did more housework than my husband, was when I was home for 2 years after the birth of our second child, and when I worked part-time. I could never have held down a full time job and raised my kids right if he did not take 50% of the responsibility. Maybe that's why we have been married for 35 years...
I agree that "Thank You", "I love You" and even an occasional "I'm sorry" is important. It represents "respect", which all marriages should be based upon. But all the lip service in the world wouldn't have held our marriage together if I had to shoulder all of the responsibilities of running our household while bringing home half of the income.
To all the young folks out there: establish groundrules that will work for you and your future spouse BEFORE you commit to marriage. Then do your damnedest to keep it alive !

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

kirbylou — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 23:09:25 GMT

So how many years have you been married Dr. Mercola?

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

Sara B — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:23:58 GMT

Couldn't agree more with this. My neighbors have one of the truly happiest marriages I've ever seen (how rare!). They are a joy to watch. When I was first getting to know them, I immediately noticed that they are incredibly respectful - they address each other and make requests as if they were just visiting friends or guests. It's noticeable and a little unexpected, especially at first. At first I thought "how odd, they're married and live together and have for 15 years but they act like they just moved in together!". After a while I realized that's WHY they are so happy. Their philosophy is that they never, ever say or do anything remotely disrespectful - you treat those closest to you like you would a cherished guest. I think sometimes we're quick to treat those closest to us the WORST, rather than the best. They don't take each other for granted or act with the "well, you're stuck with me so I can be rude" mentality. It's so inspiring to behold.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

shiva — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 14:27:33 GMT

Wouldn't it be great and make total sense if a main track of learning in our schools,.. pertained to such subjects as "Interpersonal Communication" .... and "Values Clarification" .. etc. ...

I think it is a bit pathetic that the most fundamental skills required in life,.. such as how to relate to and with one another and with ourselves of course, ... in a healthy and positive way,.. is not even considered in the field of education.

We spend all our time learning how to make a buck and when it comes to the most important foundations of life,.. such as how to interact with both ourselves and eachother in a healthy and constructive way,.. we completely avoid the subject and then wonder why we live in a society full of dysfunctional families and individuals,... and thus a dysfunctional society.

The whole science of self awareness and interpersonal skills should be at the very core of education. ........ We have got it all backwards.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

Russ Bianchi — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 00:12:47 GMT

The best things in life remains small as well as FREE, including the occasional 'smile', 'thank you', or 'please', for you or me!

;-)

Uncle Russ

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

Bridestein — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:57:37 GMT

My husband has no specific expectations of me and thanks me for even the smallest things I do. I have to say our marriage (23 years) is happier than almost anyone else I know. I'm not as conscientious about vocalizing my gratitude, but he says my actions speak for me.
As to division of chores that depends on who is working less and/or where and/or who feels like it. When I worked full time and he didn't, he was the one to do the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning. Now that he works much harder than I do, I have taken these chores over from him.
When he was working out of the area I did any water system and automotive repairs. I never did manage to get the hang of making kindling so he would do it for me when he came home on weekends.
We make a great team as long as we're working on separate aspects of the same goal.

re: The Key to a Successful Marriage: Say 'Thank You'

mmc88121 — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:12:01 GMT

Please and thank you go a very long way to promote better feelings between people of all genders and races.

Mary