How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

David VanOsdol — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:18:25 GMT

I was a master at the silent treatment when in an argument with my spouse. I didn't realize that it was causing serious harm to my relationship. I ran across a course that taught me that I didn't need to hold on to feelings and it included a wonderful basic education in emotions and how they work.

Jeannie Fitzsimmons work is the most profound, life changing but simple self improvement training I have ever done. It has changed my life and given me back my happiness and freedom from emotional stress. I use it without even thinking about it, even in the middle of stressful business meeting and negotiations.

If you are interested, just Google "Effortless releasing" or "Mastering Your Emotions Course". Her course is the best investment I have ever made in myself and it is all downloadable so that I did the course on my commute.

Even during the course, I kept getting comments from people like; What's up with you and You are really different, you seem so happy all the time. I just smile and send them to Jeannie's website.

The end result is that I am a better communicator, get along with everyone and my income has even gone up because I just love life so much more now that I am not carrying all those negative emotions around any longer. The answer is easy and Life is good.

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

Extatic2 — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 15:06:15 GMT

My husband and I (and our lab, Buddy) sold our house (of over 16 years) in Colorado and moved to Wisconsin. To make a long story short, the housing we were supposed to be in was canceled, and we entered Wisconsin with an 60' (I think larger like 80') truck filled with all the belongings we could fit into it, as well as pulling one of the two cars we kept. We ended up renting a house for a year through a "friend of a friend", without knowing the owner of the house. The man turned out to be stalking me, showing up without notification, and the legal system could do nothing unless he tried something. So, I had a man at the windows of my house, could do nothing, and during conversation in front of my husband, made his desires known. We were locked into the lease, and the law and renters advocate group could do nothing. Since he lived in the neighborhood, I chose NOT to go out for walks, chose not to go alone anywhere. Instead, I voluntarily locked myself up in that house, only venturing out when my hubby was around. Now, I can fight, very well...and do keep a machete around. But who wants to have to do that??? The toll it took on my health was to be found out a few months after we were out of that rental house. My lab died from Hemangeosarcoma (cancer of the blood basically). I had four days to clean-up before my daughter and two children came for a visit, which left me no time to grieve his loss. April of the next year, I was diagnosed with a Squamous Cell (like Laura Bush's) on my cheek. My husband was supportive, even though I seemed like a nervous nut-case at times. But the inability to do anything about this stalking letch was extremely stressful. I was trapped, living in a state where I didn't know anyone, and in an area where neighbors did not want to get to know their neighbors, especially renters.

Thank you for this article! I am passing this article on to everyone I know.

Sincerely,

LeDean Bruns

Oregon, WI

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

fishnlady — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:08:29 GMT

Right on Steven and Michele !! I think that is why a person finds solace when they go out into a wilderness setting. There is less of the stuff that antagonizes such as these electromagnetic fields and much more. In our world today it is everywhere but is less, the farther you get away from any city or town.

Of course diet plays a tremendous role too. People who make poor choices of what they eat demonstrate mood swings and bad behavior much more than people who take better care of themselves. The prisons are full of people who were possible sugar abusers and did not eat healthy foods at regular intervals.

Joy is infectious. Lets spread it around.

Fishnlady

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

bkt — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 20:12:32 GMT

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

I think it's best for some to stay single. No conflict here. I've been there and done that.

Twice! Some of us are not good at choosing men.

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

smenzel5 — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:48:30 GMT

We have found one of the key components adding to our daily stress is pollution. This is not the pollution typically thought of today. We live in a sea of ElectroPollution or Electromagnetic Radiation. Between internet wifi, cell phones (right up against our heads), cordless phones, high tension power lines, and a million antennas all around us, THERE IS NO PLACE TO HIDE FROM IT!

Sincerely,

Steven & Michele Menzel

Edmond, OK

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

Komic Kaze — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:16:08 GMT

I feel that communication and respect for your spouse/partner is so important. IT is important to validate their feelings and be person-centered at all times. See everyone you come into contact with as an individual human being, not as the stereotype they happen to seem to fit into. I want you all to remember you're all unique, just like everybody else. Embrace it.

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

Miss Meliss — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:40:38 GMT

While I completely agree that women need to feel safe (emotionally ANd physically) to express their feeling and thoughts, I believe that women can treat men just as poorly.

The women of our day often feel "justified" in belittling and being negative to their husbands. The emotional abuse many men suffer in their relationships is just as re, and just as damaging as the abuse many women suffer.

I have found in my marriage that I must treat my husband how I would like to be treated (too simple?? No.) When we are having difficulties, I force myself to go above and beyond, and begin talking to and treating him with the kind of respect that I want from him. 100% of the time this works. It can take time, but when someone feels respected, they will respect you.

I hope that women can be gentler and kinder to their husbands. Many of my girlfriends are cruel in their attitudes and speech towards their husbands.

Men are simple creatures who need affection, attention, and appreciation. If you can hit those three simple things, you will have a happy man, and YOU will be happy too.

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

pmcgall64 — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 12:56:36 GMT

What great comments! I am in the middle of this struggle with my spouse now. Have'nt spoken except for necessity in close to 2 years. I am willing to get help whereas he says he is fine the way he is and doesnt need it. I am going to be tapping myself silly. Wish I could tap on his meridian sites. God bless

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

garden18_203 — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 12:14:19 GMT

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re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

shiva — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 14:46:11 GMT

From my experience,... the one thing that always makes the difference when it comes to "shifting" the conflict in a relationship to a positive and constructive direction,.... is when both persons are willing to be vulnerable in the communication of their feelings. .... If ones more vulnerable feelings are not being honored and expressed in a way that does not promote defensiveness,.. the conflict will continue to ensue and fester or escalate.

I have also observed that many individuals simply do not know how to be vulnerable or even what it means to be vulnerable. ... Many need to learn how to do this,... simply because many if not most of us have been living our lives in a "defensive" stance from the time we were children, ... as a means of survival.

re: How To Make a Difference in Your Marriage and Your Health

lilliansmom — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 14:02:58 GMT

I think cultivating your sense of humor helps keep perspective in any relationship and is as important as anything else in resolving conflict.

re: In Marital Spats, Silence Can Be Deadly

mmc88121 — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:56:31 GMT

Women have to be able to express their opinions and feel safe when doing so. Otherwise, it can damage them emotionally.

Mary

re: In Marital Spats, Silence Can Be Deadly

KAC — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 10:43:44 GMT

Bottling up feelings doesn't do a body any good. I perform EFT on a daily basis for a variety of issues, mostly surrogate EFT for my kids. I am getting to the point of relying on EFT to help resolve issues since it is very effective for me. I was performing surrogate EFT on my son for a problem I had with him and part of my phrase was "I choose to say sorry to my mother......". The next morning, my son woke up and the first thing he said was "I am sorry mom". This blew me away.