7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

vishal_203 — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:54:10 GMT

Hi Dr!

Really nice article. Your articles are real nice. They used to give lots of answers to general questions...

We must do what we feel right and we have every right to be wrong.

I am your big fan!!!

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

Sunshine Man — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 03:29:49 GMT

I believe that the most constructive way to handle all verbal criticisms is to ask the person who has stated the criticism what emotions they are experiencing and to what needs their emotions are related. For the specifics on to apply this info, I highly recommend studying "Connecting Across Differences" by PhD's Connor and Killian and the other info available through the Center for Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org). My life is definitely a lot more fun, and I have achieved much better connection with my friends, family and other acquaintances, since I began studying four years how we can listen more empathically and speak more compassionately with others and myself. I truly believe that its use is the only way that we will ever be able to attain peace with justice for all people and all non-human animals all over planet Earth!

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

Magnolia — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 12:54:47 GMT

I think that, first of all, I don't know everything. Any criticism directed at me is given with the agenda that I need to change something. The comment or comments must be looked at with absolute honesty. The person may have a higher perspective, or conversly, they may just be angry with me and seeking to stir my emotions or denigrate me in some way. If I react to either of these agendas I do the person a great disservice.

I usually thank people for their observations and let them know that I have taken their comments under consideration. And I do just that. I question, analyze, and see what applies to my situation. I may or may not follow up, if it is appropriate.

Not reacting with a lot of emotion, I think, is the key. Remain objective.

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

Patricia W — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 21:44:21 GMT

When listening to criticism, I use the Opera Technique from EFT.

The information I need is entered into my system and the garbage is ridiculed into submission.

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

fatherlove — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 03:42:50 GMT

a bit about myself. i help anyone to what Carl Sagan calls ''adding to the collective knowledge of our human species''. who speaks for earth? when i say i help fathers it is because 99% of services ignore fathers. most services are for women and children. it seems there is evolution at work. men die in wars. women have sons to keep it all up. Criticism reflects the values of the person who criticises, nothing less. If it doesn't 'add' to anything or ignores our planet it is purely selfish. planetary@free.fr

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

Cruise4 — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 03:31:45 GMT

Verbally abusive but not physical????? How about next time just smacking him one. Might wake the prat up. Physical, though, walk away asap.

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

INKY DINKY — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:48:33 GMT

Criticism is often an opinion - consider the source before you accept it as the truth!

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

skat726 — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 15:13:21 GMT

Accepting that "that's just the way they are" is not acceptable in my opinion. People who are administrators or managers should treat their employees or the people under them with respect. They should take a good management course and learn to behave in public. These "that's just the way I am" people are bullies who refuse to change for the better. We have to "fight" back in a positive way, not let them get away with that. Sometimes we have to be patient and it may take a while, but they need to get help or get out.

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

HAPPY LADY — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 12:00:37 GMT

READING YOUR ARTICLES REALLY MADE ME THINK THAT I HAVE TO THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR MY KIND LOVING HUSBAND. THAT DOESN'T RAISE HIS VOICE WITH THE CHILDREN OR ME. AND STANDS BY US THROUGH THICK AND THIN. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU LADIES!!!!!!!!!!

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

CSR — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 21:13:05 GMT

I especially agree with: 2. Respond to the suggestions not the tone of the criticism.

One of the faculty members here where I'm finishing up my doctoral career can be terribly harsh and rude when criticizing my work, especially in front of an audience, and initially it upset me so much that I'd cry afterwards. But now, I have come to accept that that's just who he is, but more importantly I've learned to look past that and accept his brilliance and criticism as valuable and important to the improvement of my research and reporting of it. It has been a humbling experience being here, and so I know first-hand that this tactic is successful and a good one to master.

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

Russ Bianchi — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:56:37 GMT

False criticism, must be challenged, lest it be considered true, from lack of challenge.

re: 7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism

KAC — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 10:39:14 GMT

The article indicates to ignore false criticism:

5. Ignore False Criticism.

Sometimes we are criticised with no justification. This is a painful experience. But, potentially we can deal with it more easily than criticism which is justified. One option is to remain aloof and ignore it completely. We should feel that false criticism is as insignificant as an ant trying to harm an elephant. If we remain silent and detached the criticism is given no energy. If we feel the necessity of fighting it - in a way, we give it more importance than it deserves. By remaining silent we maintain a dignity that others will come to respect.

I have an ex-husband who is verbally abusive. I chose to remain silent for years and at times I say "please don't display this inappropriate behavior". Fighting back is not the answer either but remaining silent didn't seem to help either. It is taking so many years to figure out how to deal with this. I have read books on it as well. When I had to involve a sheriff on different occasions, I have been told by more than one of them and it is even in my incident report "that even though she contends she doesn't verbally assault back, it is rare for someone not to fight back." I even had an officer tell me there is no such thing as verbal abuse. He said if it was me, I would be angry and fight back. I had to explain to this highly intelligent being that fighting back doesn't do any good. The assaulter doesn't listen to anything you say and why dispel such negative energy. I asked him if I could ask a question, and he said "yes". I said what would you do if someone was verbally assaulting you if front of your children, would you fight back or display an appropriate response. His response was "don't talk down to me".