The Secret of How to Be Happy

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

awine — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:31:11 GMT

There is a place in Massachusets called the Option Institute where they teach happiness and love. It is run by Barry Neal Kaufman and his wife Samaria. Barry Kaufman has written many books one of which is "Happiness is a Choice". I highly recommend reading it and whoever has the possibility of getting there, they run amazing programs at the Instutute.

I myself spent one week there, then later 4 weeks and again another 4 weeks and lastly another week. This place changed my life. After it I had no more need for psychologists.

And by the way I don't live in the U.S.A. but it was worth everything to be there.

Angela W

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

John Sawyer — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:29:49 GMT

Dr. Mercola's summary of Gilbert's work, may sound a little contradictory, since I don't think the term "synthetic happiness" is quite the best term, but I think I understand what he's saying, and it's important:

"Your ability to create “synthetic” happiness is in fact your key to sustained happiness. Which…is very real, even though it is not “natural.” Synthetic happiness is a choice you make when you don’t get what you want, whereas natural happiness is what you feel when you do get what you want."

And:

"Our belief that being able to change your mind will increase your happiness turns out to be completely false. Your ‘psychological immune system’ actually works best when you’re totally stuck, when there’s no turning back and making other choices, because that is when your mind can find a way to be happy with your reality."

The way I interpret this, is that simply willing yourself to be happy, regardless of circumstances, won't work often enough to use it as a technique all the time--it would be like drugging yourself excessively. Instead, you resolve to do your best, and that brings happiness in various forms--when your efforts pay off, or you get or see things that satisfy you, you feel "naturally" happy, and when things don't turn out as you wanted them, you can feel "synthetically" happy since you know you did your best, and you resolve to do better, and you realize you have the skills, or can develop them, to adjust to what actually happened. You also realize you didn't go off in unproductive directions, but instead faced things and saw that there were really only a few, or just one, way to deal with something, which in a sense is somewhat like being "totally stuck", but really is a realization that you're capable of a healthy dose of reality, a realization which brings inner and outer rewards. I don't know if I'd call this synthetic happiness, since it's actually a real form of happiness, but one you have to use a different kind of effort to maintain.

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

INKY DINKY — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:48:22 GMT

Happiness is a transient state of mind - to attempt a constant elated state, would suggest an absence of mind!

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

kennethandrobert — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 02:42:34 GMT

The closer we stay to nature, the closer we are to happiness.

Address emotional traumas

Get optimal sun exposure

Drink pure water

Avoid toxins

Eat the right fats

Eat right for your Nutritional Type

Eat raw foods

Control your insulin and leptin

Exercise

Sleep properly

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

JBK1971 — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:46:31 GMT

Apparently the main reason why Danes claim to be so happy is that they always expect life to be worse than it really is. They expect to be cold.

www.timesonline.co.uk/.../article1682382.ece

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

anotherpointofView — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 08:10:36 GMT

ENSLAVE me and I will be happier?

Perhaps the premise of the message is true but I believe the message is a bad one. Why because It attempts to make people believe that less is more and is double speak like war is peace.

What Mr Gilmore is really is saying is that you would be happier as a slave without choices and you should believe it because I am an expert.

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

Magnolia — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:34:04 GMT

Service to others (as Russ wrote) = fulfillment = happiness (theirs and yours)

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

skyla — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:48:17 GMT

Earlier this year a friend (In a wheelchair with MS.) taught me that happiness and unhappiness are created in the same place, and from there was/is a point of growth, especially for those, like me, who are melancholy by nature, or habit. I practice every day, remembering that we are spirit, with a body, and that "love" and "happy" are in us, and the rest is "reaction".......mostly, we are in reaction tho' , no? Most of us, on the planet.......and what goes around, comes around...........

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

LanSensei — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:44:47 GMT

Alternative link to watch this video:

www.ted.com/.../97

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

kindelan — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:15:43 GMT

In the present environment, happiness may be a head in the sand escape. There's much to be done, and very little time to do it. We live under a empire building mindset and allow horrible things to happen because of it. It's the wealthy, politicians, and plutocrats who are killing the world for humans and as long as we use escapist tools, that is, TV, Video games, Air-conditioning, movies, drugs, alcohol, etc., we're guaranteeing oblivion for humanity. The problem? Male domination for 5000 years. The solution? Not enough space to say, but it's the nurturing, protective, and equality side of women's nature, I'm male by the way, that will save us, not the domination, empire building at any cost, of the plutocrats who will save us from ourselves. 7314 people in the US own 75% of the wealth. One might say that's a bit unfair, but we've allowed it to happen, but it's taken massive brain washing, crimes against man and nature, drug use, lies, cheating, murder, mayhem, corruption, and so forth, lots of so forth, to accomplish this trail of blood, destruction, etc. So, for those who want to place their heads firmly in the sand, and let the sociopaths rule the world, good luck, I for one say it's time to grow up, and like the book, Lord of the Flies, it's time for adults to rule and not these unconscionable psychopath/sociopaths presently in control shore to shore, continent to continent, and send the beady-eyed greed mongers to psycho wards where they can destroy each other and not our loved ones. Make no mistake, there isn't a candidate running in any party anywhere who is on our side, they're only on the establishment's side. Sound caustic and negative? Actually, it's a basic formula for our survival. Male domination has led to fight or flight, not nurturing, protective, and accepting one another as equals. It's interesting how much more complex primitive tribes conversations are compared to our silly baseball, day care, movies, cars, mortgages talk. Bye.

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

TexasTornado — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:13:25 GMT

To have a blessing, one must BE a blessing.

Be a positive influence on someone and the good it does will return to you, whether you see the final result or not. This brings not only happiness, but a modicum of peace. Love is not just a feeling- it is also a consciencious act. The feeling often follows the deed. I always look forward to making someone else happy, then I feel my own happiness.

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

Byte — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:36:33 GMT

Happiness will never happen as long as one's focus is on things and events. These imaginative figments are elusive and temporary in nature - the pursuit thereof will never be fulfilled. Emptiness and desperation ensues - discarded toys pile up and clutter our lives.

I have rather found Peace in my life. It requires no crutches nor circumstances. It exists inside and transcends things and events. It exists because I found the Prince of Peace, Jesus, and have invited Him to dwell within my being. I am content to rest in the reality of who I am and in the hope of what lies ahead. Now, I am Happy!

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

librarygeek — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:01:09 GMT

I'm going to add a quote from Dr. Ben Kim's newsletter, which I think sums up a lot of this article in a few words. It was written in the context of a happy marriage, but I think it applies to all of life as well:

Lust is easy.

Love is difficult.

Like is most important.

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

Cuba — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:55:59 GMT

someone once said, the less you care(about negatives), the longer you live.

if you consider increased stress responce from enviromental and physical stressors,then the above might hold some truth.

personally i think i was much happier more of the time back when i had a very chilled attitude about everything. everything seemed easy.

aaahhh, good times!

re: The Secret of How to Be Happy

Niara — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:48:07 GMT

So where's the video I'm supposed to watch twice? I agree with what's written for sure... would be fun to see the video too.

Niara