Why Do You Overcommit?

re: Why Do You Overcommit?

Vee.M — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 19:41:41 GMT

The article seems to assume that we are all going out to work and this is not so.

I agree that taking on lots of commitments is a way of feeling useful and needed - that is me, for sure; but I also hate to be idle - although I do make sure I get some relaxation time,

However, I also have a quite demanding disabled husband and it is difficult to settle to anything, because before long I am called away to do something he wants done NOW. I am gradually learning not to let this stress me but went through a very bad patch with irregular heart beats. Vee.M

re: Why Do You Overcommit?

xyzsch — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 16:58:25 GMT

I attended a talk last week by a researcher in the field of brain research and depression. She made the point that we lump those with clinical depression (unipolar and biplar) with those who become depressed thogh life's ills, such as death of family, loss of a job etc. The former are due to fauly brains, a genetic problem with the way the brain opertes, the latter are situational. Here's the clincher. The drugs work to stimulate growth of brain cells so as to lift one out of clinical depression. But this is alledgedly counterproductive and even harmful for one who has situational depression, as it overstimulates a properly functioning brain. Thus the prozacs et.al are doing harm to many people but saving the lives of a small few, such as my wife. But the drug companies make their money by pushing SSRIs on many people. The good newsl, according to this researcher is that brain scans are now able to distinguish betwwen the faulty brains and the situational depressions, so to not overprescibe these drugs. The researcher says that this ability is fairly recent.

re: Why Do You Overcommit?

quotBquot — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:25:58 GMT

Sometimes I have found I have over-commited when I needed to feel that I was needed. That I have "to be there for everyone". This in the past has been because of my need to feel that I was important to others and I had to be a people pleaser in order for others to like me or that I may feel accepted by others.

It's a controlling factor in some ways. " I'll do for you if you like me and let me be your friend." Of course, that was in the past. Now God has helped me to understand that the only one I have to be concerned about pleasing is Him and not others. I love to help others and of course want to know I am of some worth to others but there's no bondage about it anymore because I have only to ask Him in prayer who He wants me to help and I can be certain He will show me without it causing me to be burned out.

re: Why Do You Overcommit?

SuszyQ — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 06:35:39 GMT

Hello!! I believe that over commitment is and adiction...I agree with foxtrotter.... some people need to be needed or wanted and try to find it at work , as they may not be getting it at home, maybe most of them are depressed... all i know it is so hard to live with some one who is always at work late and all you hear is i have so much to do, I will be home soon and it is already 8:30 pm. It is so hard to live with this kind of person!!!

re: Why Do You Overcommit?

pinkskittles — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 04:57:52 GMT

i plan early, everything on my calendar, and schedule something to start earlier and end later than it really is so i can have a more realistic view of time (and time in between to do things i didn't think i could fit in and it makes me feel more accomplished already than finishing my to-do list). i also plan that things cost more than they do when i plan them into my budget. it really helps and then i'm always surprised with the excess money ("hey where did i get this extra hundred dollars?!" - the happiness that you feel like you've worked hard but still have extra is totally worth setting the bar high)

also exercise to optimize your energy! i bike everywhere so it helps. i find eating milk products and starches (bread, potatoes) suck energy right out of me, which takes away from actually being able to do things.

what i find also helps is not taking life too seriously - so if you miss something one day, do it the next, don't stress about it. just take it easy!

and remember to smile! :o) life's a journey when you're having fun!

re: Why Do You Overcommit?

nez_onmercola — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 04:01:19 GMT

Most of the time I over commit, but tried overcoming it. Maybe because i don't want to miss anything espcially if friends would text or call me for help or anything.

re: Why Do We Overcommit?

Phantom O Banjo — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:54:33 GMT

I read in those women magazines that men have a fear of commitment not overcommitment...........

re: Why Do We Overcommit?

Katee Roux — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:44:41 GMT

"Participants believed that both time and money would be more available in “a month” than “today,” and believed it more strongly for time than for money. A deeper investigation of a psychological phenomenon called “delay discounting,” in which people tend to lessen the importance of future rewards, showed that people also discounted future time more than both gains and losses in future money."

This would explain why so many people have problems with credit card debt, too. They don't have the money for what they want now, but they figure they will in the future, so they morgage the future with credit card use & figure they'll have the money later.

So few (sometimes includes me too) know how to live now & live on current income, & current time.

Do you think it has to do with the culture & the idea that we can "have it all"?

re: Why Do We Overcommit?

Russ Bianchi — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:05:44 GMT

Efficency begins with simplicity.

re: Why Do We Overcommit?

mmc88121 — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:46:53 GMT

I think part of the reason is that it is difficult to say no when asked to do something.

Mary

re: Why Do We Overcommit?

foxtroter_203 — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:53:32 GMT

I saw no discussion of overcommitting as a means to avoid being depressed. Distraction from the miserableness of ones life is often done by overcommitting. Overcommitting works as a stimulant providing an adrenalin response which will give a burst of Serotonin in the brain and make you feel better in a similar way that sugar, caffeine, over-exercising, etc. will.