The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Carol Morrisey — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 23:18:59 GMT

First children need unconditional love. They need to know they are accepted no matter what. Then they need insightful encouragement to pursue their talents and interests. They need praise for actual accomplishments and good choices, praise that is specific rather than vague and general. We are not trying to manipulate our children into being what we want them to be, we wish to guide and train them to reach the potential that is inherent in their genetic capabilities and interests. This potential may be far greater than anyone imagines, unless they see with the eyes of love. We parents must pay attention and truly know our children, give them security, and then help them to fly.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Linda24 — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:07:15 GMT

I have many conversations with a co-worker about God. He believes there is possibly a God, but he also believes in the "Big Bang Theory" and evolution. He doesn't believe that God created the heavens and the earth. Being a Christian doesn't give us the right to shove our beliefs upon other people who do not share our views. Christians who make statements like they do in the above comments give Christianity a bad name. I believe in sharing my beliefs with others, but only when the time arises, especially if non-believers are part of the conversation. That doesn't mean I go around walking on eggshells with non-believers. BUT, Christians need to STOP shoving THEIR beliefs down peoples throats.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

p2karma — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 05:03:39 GMT

Thought this was a discussion on rasing smart kids? How did religion get thrown into the mix? Nothing more annoying then have to read about someone else's relgiious beliefs. Ughh..

Back to the topic at hand: Maybe I missed it, not sure if it was mentioned- but I think the foundation for rasing smart kids, is to make sure that they are healthy kids. Providing them with the most nutritious food money can buy (or if your lucky- you can grow yourself) will start them off with a healthy body and a healthy mind.

Word to the wise. Start this when they are young. I have two teenagers and only started my research and ultimate change in food habits when my oldest was diagnosed with Epilepsy (that was 4 years ago-before I knew any better). They still get mad sometimes when I tell them I can't buy something they would like, my oldest will eat junk food any chance she can and will sometimes even hide it.

L.O.L. I will still never forget the look on my youngest daughters face the first time I brought home bags of food from Trader Joes's (she was 9 at the time). WIth arms crossed, she looked me straight in the eye and said " I can't believe Mom's making us eat healthy!" They obviously haven't done the research I have and I can only tell them why the cheap fillers, chemicals & dyes are bad for them. ( Hey, does anyone know what red 40 or yellow 5 actually is? I've always wondered).

But, there may be hope yet. My youngest has noticed a corralation between the way her skin looks (she has very sensitive skin) and what type of food she puts in her body. Her skin is always the worst when she comes back from spending the weekend at her cousins. My extended family for the most part feels eating organic is a waste of money,reading labels takes too much time and trying to get the kids to change their eating habits is not worth the aggravation. I don't agree with that. All it takes is some education and patience. And when it comes to their health- I have plenty of both...

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

LoriSm — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 17:10:21 GMT

Education is important, but what is meant by education? Hitler, Idi Amin, Stalin, Marx, these were all educated men, but ones without high morlas or ones who valued others. Education is important in order to live a full and good life, but we need to be living our lives for ourselves, not for some government or other person. A religous belief, morals, life skills, talents, skills, compassion, manners, these things are all more important to develop. as these things develop, education happens.

Children need to be in the loving environment of their families (including extended multi-generational families), and the community. Schools are not good places for most kids. Warehousing of kids to the government is not a good way to get truly educated people. It is a great way to change society to fit what the government wants, but a truly free people should shun government compulsory schooling.

Lori

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

LoriSm — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 16:51:46 GMT

Sharshur,

Of courser Jesus claimed to be God! He said he was "I Am" and that is why the priests wanted to stone him for blasphemy! He is part of the GodHead as is stated many times in the bible. In the gospel of John (John 1:1) it says, "And the Word was with God, and the Word was God..." , and further down in John 1:14 it says "And the Word was made flesh and dwelt amongst men..." There are MANY, Many more instances where the bible claims Jesus is God, including Jesus's own words. Jesus did die, but rose again on the 3rd day, and he was seen by over 500 people in the next 40 days. If you do not believe me, then read it for yourself. There are so many places in the old testament where Jesus was prophesied about before he was ever born, and 100% of this prophecy came to happen exactly as it was written hundreds of years before. Paul was legitimate, just as Luke was who wrote a gospel and the book of Acts. He speaks highly of Paul and legitimizes Paul, as does John. A lot of people make assumptions without ever reading the bible or studying it for accuracy or consistency, then they claim it is false or full of errors without any proof or legitmate examples.

Lori

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Sonagi — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 23:29:57 GMT

I taught Korean, Chinese, and Japanese children for several years in Asia, and one difference I noticed was that parents and teachers value effort over innate ability and set high standards for all children. If a child is having difficulty with the material, then the parents either work with the child at home or hire a tutor. I don't have a link, but I recall reading a research study which showed that effort was a better predictor of long-term educational achievement than IQ, and as a teacher, I can attest to that.

I also recall reading a comparative study on parental attitudes towards children's math abilities. American parents were mostly satisfied with their children's achievement, ranking them average or above average. Japanese parents were mostly dissatisfied, ranking their children average or below average. Achievement tests were given to both sets of students, and not surprisingly, the Japanese outperformed their American counterparts.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

ChrisS — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:49:08 GMT

An excellent piece in the New York Times Magazine, "The Trouble With Self-Esteem," by Lauren Slater, February 3, 2002 makes a good follow-up to this newsletter entry. It is a great read and develops the whole topic further and in the same vein. It is available through the archives for free at NYTimes.com. Happy Holidays everyone.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Bee — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 14:28:37 GMT

Its very sad that parents, and the schools, and children's organizations feel that the only way to self esteem is to bestow it on children. We have become so touchy-feely that we have lost sight of the fact that, in order to grow, we need to be challenged. All the problems of life are those challenges. Ironing them out for someone just gives them the message that they are inept, incapable of overcoming problems, making them a victim. This victim mentality has gotten so out of hand that our whole society is becoming tainted by it. Being a victim is easy--it absolves one of the responsibility of living a good life. It takes courage to live your life well and we owe it to ourselves and especially to our children to allow them this courage. They will inherit our world and what they make of it depends on the courage they have.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Goji — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 09:49:28 GMT

While studying hypnotherapy I have learn't that almost every block to health and happiness was started as a child under the age of 7 or so. Usually the strong negative emotion was suppressed at the time and negative meaning was created about 'self'. These blocks have been held when life repeated them enough times to become a set of beliefs. Healing any condition requires some sort of connection with the moment that seed was planted almost like emotional homeopathy. If you have a young child then LOVE, COMMUNICATION (them to you), YOUR TIME and a healthy environment is all that is needed. I do agree with the comments about schooling being as destructive as it is constructive when it comes to emotional maturity, being an individual and self esteem.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Yod — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 06:55:47 GMT

"Genius? Nothing! Sticking to it is the genius! ... I've failed my way to success."

--Thomas Edison

Mistakes are good - The Greatest Mistakes of All Time encarta.msn.com/.../The_Greatest_Mistakes_of_All_Time.html

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Rose My Rose — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 02:01:06 GMT

Read the book Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto. IT's really enlightening about our educational system.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

human freedom — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 01:47:03 GMT

I apprecieted the comments youall provided. Almost 5 yrs. aqo I came out of a coma. Thank God, for the second chance on life.It has been a very hard life recovering, walk, regain memory and many mind controlling areas. The last 3 mos. have been great! I appreciate more the terrific lifes my growned boys and girls live, yes education,phych, and religion, etc. were inportant,BUT, in my opioion, spending every loving moment with them is very inportant. My oldest boy advance very fast in everything he did:Egael scount, 14 yr old Black belt karate,Chief in the Navy. The second boy, the best landscape contactor around etc. The sons/dauthers turned out good humans on earth. Young moms/dads hang in there!

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Rose My Rose — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 01:21:31 GMT

There is a great book by JohnTaylor Gatto titled Dumbing Us Down and it is a real eye opener about the school system in America. It uncovers the hidden curriculum: teaching confusion, social class, indifference, emotional and intellectual dependancy (kids who are smart don't feel smart unless they're told by a teacher), provisional self-esteem, and one can't hide (no private time or personal space) Sure sounds like a prison! This is how the government wants it to be, and it's a pretty sick plan to keep kids from doing their best so we can keep a class system in place. What good is it to have the upper class without a lower class?

The most uplifting part of the book is that the problems are addressed in the beginning chapter, the rest of the book focuses on solutions. Kids need less school, not more. They need to be in a multigenerational society, not in one where the yougest and oldest are in daycares all day. (Afterall, are there really jobs out there where everyone is the same age? Why should kids spend the better part of 12 years with only kids there same age?)

We homeschooled for a year, now my daughter attends a Montessori Charter school where classes are more child led and grades 1-3, 4-6, 7-8 are in the same classrooms. Kids can work ahead, or stay back and take the time that they need to master a skill. Working up to their personal best, not what is set for them by somone else.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Corvidae — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 22:14:08 GMT

It is well established in the field of developmental psychology that a mastery-oriented approach is generally better for encouraging children's learning. But am I NEVER going to tell my children they are smart or good at something? No. I think the key is not doling out such compliments so freely that they become meaningless, such that the child ends up with an over-inflated sense of self and thinks they do not actually have to put in any work to achieve their goals.

RichJedi: your reference to gender stereotypes for an explanation of the ""You're sooo talented" garbage" indicates a lack of knowledge of the great extent to which any gender roles are learned (not inherent), and also of the extensive overlap in male and female learning styles, behaviours, attitudes, etc. Men and women are really more alike than they are different. It seems people just focus on and inflate any and every miniscule difference. I do agree that "You're sooo talented" IS garbage, but blaming it on one sex, is, dare I say, not smart -- that is, you have not apparently done any actual, serious research or thought on the matter, and have simply reverted to stereotype.

re: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids

LORENLSMITHHughes — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 20:18:53 GMT

In teacher training I read the book "The Saber Toothed Curriculm". The main point was that people learn directly related to how they preceive the learning to be relevant to either their present or future needs.

Much of today's curriculum is based on psycho selection and while perhaps good practice, will never be applied either in college or life in general. This is why so many students quit learning and finally drop out during their senior year--knowing that when it came to the final moment....they would not measure up.