Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

re: Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

apol7lo — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 03:21:19 GMT

“Bubbles” are real enough but I think Graham perhaps underestimates the harshness of the current work climate. Maybe he is too far removed from it. But middle school (jr. high in my day) is the worst. It is partly due to the way kids are raised (or ignored) by parents and that kid at that age have gained mew impulses and have not fully developed the required cortex control over their emotions to add to poor parental guidance.

When I went to school, it was a far more gentle climate than now. Still had problems but not as severe. But yes, people do get more sensible as adults. They grow up, they mature. Then as our hormones decline, guys actually start to discover a brain with the testosterone declines enough.

And yes, we have far less peers to back us up and we are more on our own when in the real world. Everything is far more intense in school as we are herded and concentrated with people our own age and every little difference stands out. School is a horrible climate that desperately needs addressed but is not likely to get it.

Schools are actually programming centers and their atmosphere deliberately designed according to John Taylor Gatto’s book “The Underground History of American Education” the best book on the market. It is free to read on the net. Type Gattos name without spaces and add a .com

What we have is quite deliberate. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. Home Schooling is where its at.

re: Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

parallax — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 21:58:24 GMT

I'm so sorry about your son.

There's a small school movement, which the Bill Gates Foundation has been backing to the tune of millions. Rather than warehousing kids in enormous, monstrosities that are more focused around athletics than academics, the idea is to educate kids in communities where everyone knows everyone by face and by name. My son went to a small charter high school and, though not entirely free of the problems described in this article, it was far better than the standard one-size-fits-all suburban jungle.

Smaller schools alone will not solve the problem. This school was formed by excellent teachers who realized that the best way to take on the system was to opt out and form their own. The dedication of such people was inspiring. But they got a lot out of it too. For all the late hours, most were passionate about teaching and I believe can still honestly say they love what they do.

Nothing in this world is ever perfect, but this small school was truly a Godsend for my son.

re: Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

dhtmama — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:19:41 GMT

This all to common experience of American adolescence is one of the reasons why I home school my kids.

When people ask "What about socialization?" I can only assume they were one of the popular kids or completely oblivious in high school. I can't help but respond,"Well that depends on your definition. Do you mean the process by which adults pass on cultural values and standards to the next generation or do you mean the social situation described in 'The Lord of the Flies'?"

Frankly, I don't see any other realistic solution besides home schooling. But I'd like to hear others' ideas.

re: Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

Rubynellie — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 13:52:12 GMT

This article amazingly comes at a time when I am making a major change in my 13 year old's life. He presently goes to a private school which he hates. After a major meltdown of how his life has no meaning other than going to school he hates, and how boring his life is, he begged to go back to the public school where his older brothers are doing well. We decided to listen to him but I'm nervous because he is at such a fragile age, very self-conscious and tends to find trouble. He's really a good boy and a good student, but puts minimal effort into being smart and more into mischief if he can find it. He's generally well-liked by other kids, and a good athlete but his own opinion of himself is not so high.

I can see from this article that what we really need to do for him is to keep his life rich outside of school, to show him his importance to our "family tribe" and to give him "real work" so he doesn't get completely sucked into a middle school life of his own creation.

re: Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

DDS_203 — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 13:05:21 GMT

It must be different now than when I was in school, because at the top of the 'popular kids' group were very smart kids. However, they were also very nice, easy on the eye and dressed to conform. There were also maybe a couple nerds in each high school class that didn't want to be included. I would say most of the kids who were not popular but wanted to be, were that way because they were quite different - either in personality, or appearance.

I know this has nothing to do with the title of this article but my son who was hearing impaired and challanged in other ways too had a very difficult time in school and committed suicide at 19. The abuse he suffered in school probably didn't help. I guess I include this in my comment to make others aware that it isn't just the nerds that aren't popular.

re: Why Nerds are Unpopular, Part 2 (of 2)

healing water online — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 09:41:06 GMT

It is great to read this two articles.

Thank you Paul Graham.

I can relate to much of it too. I grew up at Greenland and at that time, in the 60' there were no television only MW and SW radios, so we had to entertain our self, so I read a year book called " Who, What and When. It was a book about the world, about policy, big policy. so I knew every thing about who was the precident of USA, the military, how many soldiers etc. and for many years I won every bet and contests about politicians and policy. ha ha.

I am also a person who dont care what others think, and i feel that it is important, because if you want to make a real difference then it is not done by doing like what everyone are doing.

love and light Torben