http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2002/01/05/love.aspxA father's love -- or the lack of it -- contributes as much to the development of a child's personality and behavior as the love of a mother, according to researchers. In some respects, they add, a father's love is even more influential. Probably theenCommunityServer 2008.5 SP1 (Build: 31106.3070)http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2002/01/05/love.aspx#38702Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:51:04 GMT24451277-a5aa-4add-96dc-64081bfd86fa:38702leangreencafe<p>My personal experience in single parenting 7 children, was the absence of their father and his emotional absence after the divorce, that infiltrated the happiness and well being of our home. It is not that other major challenges and wounds didn't surface, amid economic hardship, but the lack of a father to care and show he cared, hurt the hearts of all my children. I see it in some of their choices in life, and especially with my five daughters, in their choice of mates. I believe a crucial lesson in life is to realize that regardless of what our parents did or didn't do, or couldn't do for us with their own limitations and lessons, love is not lost, as forgiveness breaks the chains. That is a process, and awareness and healing takes time. </p> <p>Since I was the only parent there, and in some ways I wasn't there with all the burdens of divorce, etc., I became the target of all their unhappiness. So much so, that I moved outside the state so my children wouldn't have to suffer when their dad didn't come on his weekend, etc. I had to file with the state to collect the $700 child support. He kept all the property in another state. My children received a combined Christmas/Birthday gift for two years, in a box at Christmas, and no phone calls on their birthdays. There was never any summer visitation taken, no phone calls, etc. After years of taking disappointment displayed as if 'Mom' was a cement post, the results are still Mom bashing, which has alienated us all. Sensitivities are high. All have left home now. Barriers and behaviors create more. Healing is difficult. Fathers model how to treat mothers.</p> <p>My parents were very unhappy to be mild. &nbsp;I left home young without healthy models, support, and a structure for making good choices. Who we choose for a mate is crucial in long-term happiness and health for families and children. Selfishness in a marriage can wound for generations. Unresolved grief (of any kind) within families can color generations; can color our world</p> <img src="http://articles.mercola.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=38702" width="1" height="1">