7 Secrets of Being Popular

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

lovechubb — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 05:52:07 GMT

back in high skool, i could have been considered "popular" but i don't like the use of that word much, and at the time i wasn't trying to be "popular." Basically, i had a lot of people i enjoyed being around.

Although one doesn't have the time to truly 'get to know' everyone, I would try to make Meaningful connections with as many people as I could just by being open to their energy and what they had to say...

I remember a particular time in theater class when there was a big pile of dust/debris on the stage and the teacher instructed one of the girls to help clear it away. She immediately made a fit about how she had not made the mess, had nothing to do with the mess and stood their praising me while i walked over, grabed the broom and dustpan and cleaned up... she told me i was going to heaven :) haha...

well, at least i used to try to be kind in all situations. maybe i can get back to that mindset soon...positive thinking here i come...

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Principally-Patchouli — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:32:45 GMT

Smile and The World Smiles With You!

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Auntie Evil — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:37:54 GMT

True friends are earned. Often the easiest people to be-"friend" are not the best choices and one must look for those worth spending time with.

One true friend is worth dozens of acquaintances. They will be there to help and you'd better be there for them. It is never a "payment plan" with true friends.

To meet people, one is best to discover one's own favorite activities and join groups to meet other like minded individuals. Starting groups if none are available is an option.

Perhaps you live in a cave, but that is unlikely as you have a miraculous tool available -the internet! so you are able to meet others. If you are shy, join a chat group. Watch how others interact... Realize most people are shy, most people are nervous in new situations and forget about it.... Get out and talk to people. One of my best friends I met by chatting in a store with them. Most people need and want social interactions because we are social creatures. Forget about your inadequacies and grab life. Live Now!

Anyone can make excuses for being miserable, but no one else is responsible for one's own attitude, and attitude is everything. You want to be happy, smile. You want to make friends, talk to people. Decide what you want and make it happen.

Life is short, don't make it miserable by allowing yourself to be miserable and lonely. That is just a waste!

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Fred Potter — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:40:04 GMT

I think Nietzsche laid great store on self-mockery. I have a very good friend who does it. Result: one of the most charming people I know

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

LibertarianHippie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:43:26 GMT

I think to be popular, you need to be yourself and to be yourself you have to know yourself and to know yourself you have to be willing to recognize your faults and work on them, everyone has them. I think many people surround themselves with friends to make themselves feel better so they don't have to be alone. Men, for a large a large majority, are afraid to be alone (i.e. not in a relationship) and will quickly find someone to spend their time with instead of trying to make themselves better. You cannot expect to be a better person for anyone unless you start with yourself. Listen to others and offer your input when asked but make sure its what is right for the situation.

I think the 8th step is to S M I L E and do it a lot. No one seems to do it much anymore, it will make someone's day when you do.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Sonny Moonie — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 08:09:24 GMT

I followed this link in the newsletter:

7 Secrets of Being Popular

No need to review if you have all the friends you need, but if you are friend challenged this should be on your must-read list.

Since I have only one friend, I thought I should read the article and comments. It turns out the article and comments have nothing to do with meeting people to make friends, which is what I'm looking for advice about. I could adjust my personality all I want, but if I don't meet anyone, making friends doesn't seem possible.

I think some people who have a lot of friends probably have a huge blind spot where they aren't conscious of something about social life. They may think it's a fine or difficult distinction between everyone knowing your name and good reputation (popularity) and knowing a lot of other people who know your name and think well of you (having a lot of friendly acquaintances) and actually having friends. They probably also aren't aware of the possibility that some others might just happen not to have friends and not to have a busy work or school life where they meet a lot of people every day with plenty of free time for chatting and making friends.

The world is probably full of people who have the virtues listed in the article and more, who don't know you or have many other friends because they haven't met you or many other people.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

hilly7 — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 03:49:40 GMT

Excellent

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Yonatan777 — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 00:12:13 GMT

Thanks .. now I can be popular.. Actually, I enjoy not being popular, since popularity is all just vanity.. If you like someone like them, stop being so superficial as to be popular. Politicians are #1 people pleasers and real popular, but in the end we don't think they are great friends because they just tell people what they want to hear and you wonder if many of them have a soul?

My key advice is to follow the bible, be friendly and loving and if the world hates you , don't bother, it probably means God loves you more... in my opinion, people who need to be popular are arrogant and big-headed. The most popular person is the one who is a good and kind person, not the guy who's the king of the party and later insults his own grandmother.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Gabe_203 — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 21:44:17 GMT

Mirror, mirror in my mind, who's the finest of my kind.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

LadyPam — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:56:13 GMT

The full article is interesting but I can't agree with it all. Don't Try to Be Popular - we all seek to impress and please others. I've never been good at it and mostly been lonely, and see others sustaining it just fine. Think of Others - "We naturally respect people who are willing to spend time listening to others." Very nice, but most who seem to listen don't really, though they seem to fool a lot of people! I always try to be considerate. Be Yourself - OK, but inhibitions and meaningless social niceties are necessary. Those who don't learn these are in psychiatric institutions or living on the streets. We all have to do things we don't agree with and put up with people we don't like. When I had a temp receptionist job in an NHS office, I found myself talking to a doctor about iatrogenic death statistics; he thought I was mad, but I was just being myself! Have a Big Heart - I can't help being critical, when I see the world around me, but I try to refrain from judging. When others are mean or unreasonable I always give them the benefit of a doubt. Maybe their cat just got run over, they've had a fight with a loved one or something. But I see some who are very quick to judge and condemn others attracting lots of friends. And don't we on this forum condemn corrupt politicians and those in high office? and the big boys behind Big Pharma and Big Food? Reduce Your Ego - Hmm. Not being my own self-publicist has led to my being unemployed and alone, and what we're told at school: "Those who ask don't get" - is just not true. Humour - definitely! I have an irreverant sense of humour and I love it in others. Follow Your Ideals Quietly - not sure about this one. I'm glad Dr Mercola didn't just quietly get on with being a good little, establishment-following practitioner! What about "Hide not your light under a bushel"? And don't we moralise on this site? With good reason, but still.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

nowuccas — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:54:50 GMT

If "misery loves company", why then do so many depressed people cut themselves off from friends and family? I am hypothesising that this came about because many sought to drown their troubles at the local inn, tavern, and in later times, pubs, bars, and clubs.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Mercola Fan — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:08:10 GMT

Sounds like the same message that Fred Rogers (Mr Rogers neighborhood) worked so hard to try to teach my generation.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

LadyPam — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 14:54:27 GMT

Most of the points in this article are covered by Desiderata:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, / and remember what peace there may be in silence. / As far as possible without surrender / be on good terms with all persons. / Speak your truth quietly and clearly; / and listen to others, / even the dull and the ignorant; / they too have their story.

The first verse of my favourite poem, by Max Ehrmann. (I like 'If' as well, Rudyard Kipling). I try to live by it but am not always successful - especially the listening to the dull and ignorant part; I have a reputation that I don't suffer fools gladly. But it's important - even on this forum, and I try to remember that to some I will seem foolish. We have to remember that we are all ignorant of some facts, to some extent. Some may hear/read a piece of new information, or a new explanation, and immediately recognise it as an obvious truth or an idea worth investigating, while others will buck against it because it doesn't fit what they think they know.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Daria224 — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 14:44:17 GMT

I'm sorry, I found the article confusing. I guess I'm not really sure where not impressing someone, and yet trying to be considerate of them begin and end. It sound contradictory to me. I certainly try to ask people about themselves, but I often get one word answers or brush offs, and am unsure what to do when that happens. I just try to stay positive and not push for them to open up. And isn't being considerate of them trying to meet their expectations in some way? I'm sure I sound dumb here, but I'm lost.

re: 7 Secrets of Being Popular

Robster80 — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 14:37:59 GMT

good article...very good....hope itll open my eyes some......a while back i used to be popular....loved by everyone...i think its because i put others first and seeked to make people laugh and feel good....i was nice to everyoene.......then after going thro an awful relationship back in 06, i did a 180......ive become very depressed and have zero self esteem.......even tho people tell me im one of the hottest guys there is and should have no trouble getting a girl and etc etc.............i have no confidence anymore......rarely do i hang out with anyone or even attempt to talk to girls.......ive become selfish and all i think about is myself and i think ive become something of a jerk.....im very irritable alot......little things really piss me off..........im full of negativity...........it's awful being like this and i hope more than anything that i can get back to my old self soon......for my sake and for others' sake