6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Corvidae — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:19:05 GMT

I'm shy and proud of it, dammit. At times it can be irritating, but the more you think "woe is me, I'm shy and it sucks" the worse you feel about yourself and the more your shyness interferes with your ability to have some sort of life. I'm tired of shyness being pegged as some kind of disorder that must be overcome in order to (insert one of society's platitudes here). It seems like any little behaviour or character trait that varies from the arbitrary norm calls for treatment and reform. If this society valued quiet people, we'd be feeling sorry for and giving advice and treatment to all the peppy people who like to yap all day (and they'd be feeling sorry for themselves). Maybe if we shy people weren't made to feel like there's something wrong with us, we'd function better in the world.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Carol Morrisey — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 23:42:44 GMT

One way to get past shyness is to become caught up in something bigger than yourself, a passion that involves helping others. When energy is directed at reaching out to those with a need, there is less time and energy for worry about what others think or about what to say.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Pwyll — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:23:19 GMT

Any personal growth work--'taking yourself on" --is always of benefit--regardless of expectation. Self -empowerment paves the way for discovery of ones' true self.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

RacerX — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:05:10 GMT

Thanks for the Toastmasters info. I've considered them before but hadn't followed through. I am not *that* shy, but I think any improvement with public speaking is well worth the effort.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

webwitch6 — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:58:08 GMT

Why is being shy a bad thing??

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

thatbryan — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:45:34 GMT

Hulda hulda Asperger'Syndrome"-google it!

Syndrome means group of symptoms doctors can't figure out.[eg Chronic fatigue Syn. etc.

Asperger's often highly intelligent but take things literally -very logical, but find it hard to learn "normal" social cues and expectations.Referred to as a form of high functioning autism, which I consider to be misleading,and way off the mark.

They also often display repetitive or compulsive behaviour.Some improve their "inappropriate" behaviour, by using their highly developed logic to "act" as expected,though most things are either black or white to them.There are lots of studies, and more to it than I've said here.As you can see, 'Dizzylizzy" expresses herself well.My son was diagnosed with it, and he is extremely brilliant .At age 6,he had the reading skills of an adult, but the"social awareness" responses of a 3 year old.he's now 16 and has improved greatly.Hope this helps and hope I haven't offended anyone.--congratulations dizzyliz, we can all learn from what you said...love and friendship--a 2way street.........lifabryan

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Cjk10000 — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:52:10 GMT

I used to be really shy, though the music I listened to help me overcome that.

I find #4 hard to do, since "teaching a class" is a difficult task to do depending on your job... and would requite a ton of anti-shyness... since if you overestimate yourself, you could mess with some people and their money.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

dancinfamily — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:51:29 GMT

I have to agree that being shy is not something you can overcome by just getting out in public. I was EXTREMELY shy for years and wouldn't dream of just joining a club where I didn't know any one. It's like saying just going to the hospital will cure an ailment. Just being at the hospital is not going to do anything for you...you need to have the treatments/care in order to heal. I think maturity, getting to know yourself (and making changes if necessary), and accepting who you are is more important in overcoming shyness than just getting out and meeting people. Seems to me there are many different reasons for being shy, and each individual needs to find his or her way out from under it. Once a person starts feeling better about themselves, and is able to focus more on other things than what mistakes will be made, or whether they'll be accepted or not, they can go join clubs or do things that helps them meet people.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

healing water online — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:38:21 GMT

I can recomend a healing seminar, I teach Gaiadon Heart and it is a very good way to get rid of non supportive thought forms and a good way to lean about unconditional love and how to get in to our life, just try to google for gaiadon heart and see for your self. For me it is the best I have done for my self. You also learn to manifest things in your life and learn to use your powerful intention.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Warp speed — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:33:43 GMT

I'm a right brain introvert and shy. Shyness is easier to overcome by social interaction if you are a shy extrovert. If you are a shy introvert, then it is probably deeply ingrained. Matters are more complicated if you are also a depressive. How shy I am depends on where I am on the mood spectrum. When I'm more deeply depressed, I become more shy and withdrawn. I am not as shy when I'm least depressed or in a rare high.

As far as social interaction, I'm actively involved in my religious faith and that includes giving short Bible talks and readings. I still tense up after many years of doing it.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

qualitygeek — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 02:07:14 GMT

#7 (or 1a). Join Toastmasters ... where you won't be the only one who wants to improve their public speaking, communication, and leadership skills, in order to reach their personal and professional goals.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

DizzyIzzy1 — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:50:17 GMT

As someone with Aspergers I find knowing the 'proper' thing to do in social settings very challenging at times. Invariably I misinterpret what people say, I take things too literally, I find it hard to keep up with conversation in a big group, I dominate conversation a bit much, etc etc and as a result I used to be very withdrawn and reclusive.

Then I stopped, thought about things, and realised that no matter who we are or what we do we're going to make mistakes sometimes. We'll all stuff up socially, we'll all say the wrong thing at the wrong time, we'll all misinterpret people or take things the wrong way, but you can't let that stop you living a full and normal life. You just have to get out there, say hello to people \, share a smile, lend a hand, and before you know it you'll have a conversation going and a possible friendship.

It could be an old lady struggling across the road, it could be a random person you pass in the street and comment on the weather, it could be someone sitting on the bus. Point is you just have to get out there and smile and say hello, and that really is all it takes. Sure, some people will tell you to f-off or look at you strangely, but they're the minority and not worth your friendship anyway!!

And you know what else? Since I took this approach about ten years ago I made friends. Real friends. And in having conversations and meeting up and going to parties, I learnt the proper way to do things in social settings. I observed, and I was forced to take part and to do things. Now it's second nature and the Aspergers is so hidden nobody would ever guess I have it!!

So get out there shy people and smile at someone, it may just change your world. :)

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Elton — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:17:53 GMT

I think the way to overcome shyness is to understand how Life really works, and desire to overcome it; using the mechanisms to which Life is beholden to in order to overcome.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

BeeGirl — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:41:54 GMT

The problem with these solutions is that if you're shy and you go to a meeting, class or club, you're still probably going to just sit there quietly.
I used to be painfully shy and it wasn't until I gained confidence in myself that I was able to overcome it.

re: 6 Ways to Overcome Your Shyness and Meet People

Phantom O Banjo — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:04:11 GMT

I am not shy! I just don't like people. ahahaha