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By Brian Tracy (Brian
Tracy International)
The Greatest
Obstacle to Success
The fear of failure is the single greatest
obstacle to success in adult life. Taken to its extreme, we
become totally pre-occupied with not making a mistake, with
seeking for security above all other considerations. The experience
of the fear of failure is in the words of "I can’t",
"I can’t." We feel it in the front of the body,
starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating
of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also
experience this fear in the bladder and in the irresistible
need to run to the bathroom.
The Fear of
Rejection Holds You Back
The second major fear that interferes
with performance and inhibits expression, is the fear of rejection.
We learn this when our parents make their love conditional
upon our behavior. If we do what pleases them, they give us
love and approval. If we do something they don’t like,
they withdraw their love and approval-which we interpret as
rejection.
The Roots
of a Type A Behavior
As adults, people raised with conditional
love become preoccupied with the opinions of others. Many
men develop Type A behavior which is characterized by hostility,
suspicion and an obsession with performance to some undetermined
high standard. This is expressed in the attitude of "I
have to," I have to," and is associated with the
feeling that "I have to work harder and accomplish more
in order to please the boss" who has become a surrogate
parent.
The
Most Common Trap
More than 99 percent of adults experience
both these fears of failure and rejection. They are caught
in the trap of feeling, "I can’t," but "I
have to," "I have to," but "I can’t."
The Key to
Peak Performance
The antidote to these fears is the development
of courage, character and self-esteem. The opposite of fear
is actually love, self-love and self-respect. Acting with
courage in a fearful situation is simply a technique that
boosts our regard for ourselves to such a degree that our
fears subside and lose their ability to effect our behavior
and our decisions.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do to increase
your self-esteem and self-confidence and overcome your fears.
First, realize and accept that you can
do anything you put your mind to. Repeat the words, "I
can do it! I can do it!" whenever you feel afraid for
any reason.
Second, continually think of yourself
as a valuable and important person and remember that temporary
failure is the way you learn how to succeed.
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