How to Tell Difficult Truths So People Thank You
March 25, 2008
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There is probably something on your mind right now that you feel you need to share with someone important in your life. This truth, and whether or not you choose to share it, is actively playing a role in shaping your life.
This is why it is so important to learn to speak the truth. Yet, most people don’t want to do it in a way that hurts other people and stirs up trouble. This is not an easy task. As it says on my homepage, all truth goes through three stages:
1. First, it is ridiculed
2. Second, it is violently opposed
3. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident
But perhaps it IS possible to reach stage 3 without going through the first two.
The authors of the article linked below -- Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. -- are both experts in body-mind therapies. I actually trained for a few weeks with them in California about 13 years ago and can personally testify to the usefulness of their approach, although it does require conscious commitment to apply it regularly. They have outlined a technique that will allow you to say a difficult truth in a way that will hopefully fill the receiver with gratitude.
The key to stating the truth in a way that other people will thank you for is to speak in unarguable terms -- because when you speak the unarguable, people don’t argue.
To do this, you need to reveal your inner experience and avoid placing blame. For example, saying “My stomach feels queasy” is an unarguable statement, but if you say “You make me sick to my stomach,” well that’s another story.
To reveal your “inner experience,” the Hendricks‘ say to “speak first from your three major feeling zones,” which are:
- Zone 1: Your neck, shoulders and mid-back, and feelings of tension and anger.
- Zone 2: Your throat and chest, and feeling sad and heavy.
Using the above “equation” to speak from your inner experience, here is how the authors suggest breaking up with your lover:
- Zone 3: Your stomach and beltline area, and feeling tense and scared.
“For a long time I’ve been feeling sad and disappointed. I can feel it right now in my chest, and I can hear it in my voice. I don’t think I’m getting what I want in our relationship. I feel angry a lot at you, and although I feel scared about being by myself, I think I’d rather face that fear than continue to feel what I’ve been experiencing the past year.”
This statement does not place blame, and it does not open up an argument -- it simply speaks the truth.
Try out this technique the next time you want to speak the truth, and if you feel you’re getting cold feet, remember that if the truth appears to be standing in your way, you’re probably not heading in the right direction.
What Are GMOs?
From April 19th through April 25th we launch GMO Awareness Week. We set aside an entire week dedicated to providing you with information on GMOs and labeling initiatives.
GMOs are a product of genetic engineering, meaning their genetic makeup has been altered to induce a variety of “unique” traits to crops, such as making them drought-resistant or giving them “more nutrients.” GMO proponents claim that genetic engineering is “safe and beneficial,” and that it advances the agricultural industry. They also say that GMOs help ensure the global food supply and sustainability. But is there any truth to these claims? I believe not. For years, I've stated the belief that GMOs pose one of the greatest threats to life on the planet. Genetic engineering is NOT the safe and beneficial technology that it is touted to be.
Help Support GMO Labeling
The Grocery Manufacturers Association (GMA)—Monsanto’s Evil Twin—is pulling out all the stops to keep you in the dark about what’s in your food. For nearly two decades, Monsanto and corporate agribusiness have exercised near-dictatorial control over American agriculture. For example, Monsanto has made many claims that glyphosate in Roundup is harmless to animals and humans. However, recently the World Health Organization (WHO) had their research team test glyphosate and have labeled it a probable carcinogen.
Public opinion around the biotech industry's contamination of our food supply and destruction of our environment has reached the tipping point. We're fighting back. That's why I was the first to push for GMO labeling. I donated a significant sum to the first ballot initiative in California in 2012, which inspired others to donate to the campaign as well. We technically "lost the vote, but we are winning the war, as these labeling initiatives have raised a considerable amount of public awareness.
The insanity has gone far enough, which is why I encourage you to boycott every single product owned by members of the GMA, including natural and organic brands. More than 80 percent of our support comes from individual consumers like you, who understand that real change comes from the grassroots.
Thankfully, we have organizations like the Organic Consumers Association (OCA) to fight back against these junk food manufacturers, pesticide producers, and corporate giants.
Internet Resources Where You Can Learn More
Together, Let's Help OCA Get The Funding They Deserve
Let’s Help OCA get the funding it deserves. I have found very few organizations who are as effective and efficient as OCA. It’s a public interest organization dedicated to promoting health justice and sustainability. A central focus of the OCA is building a healthy, equitable, and sustainable system of food production and consumption. That's why I'm proud to announce I will be matching donations up to $250,000 this week.
Please make a donation to help OCA fight for GMO labeling.