"Most relationships begin to fall apart through disagreements, and disagreements are not settled by argumentation and logic. They are resolved -- or, more accurately, dissolved -- through patience. Without patience you start retaliating, and the other person gets more upset and retaliates too. Instead of retaliating with a curt reply, slow down and refrain from answering immediately. As soon as you can manage it, try a smile and a sympathetic word.
"So much of the richness of life is to be found in companionship that I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is to heal bonds that have weakened and to bring freshness back to relationships that have grown stale."
This is very true.
What’s more, the less you try to force things, the faster they seem to happen. The more you try to force things, the longer you usually wait for results.
You might want to ask yourself the following questions, and trust your first responses:
What am I pushing to happen right now?
With whom do I tend to be most impatient?
In recognizing my impatience, can I become more patient with this individual?
In what other areas of my life will increased patience serve me?
What action is required in my life at this time?
I believe the adage that whatever you give attention to is what you tend to create more of in your life, so focusing on growing more patient in your relations to others is a win-win all around. Because, in the end, you suffer as much from your impatience as the person on the receiving end.
Learning to take the wires off your hot-buttons is perhaps the most effective way to reduce your overall stress and increase your happiness and well-being.
What’s Underneath Your Hot-Buttons?
If you're like most people, you have at least one person in your life whose behavior burns you up.
Whether your partner leaves clothes on the floor ... or your coworker is condescending ... or your children are walking around with built-in earplugs to everything you say, you know you can't control them.
The only thing you can control is your reaction to their behavior.
I'm not condoning their behavior, and I’m not saying you have to either. But wouldn't it feel good not to react in the same old way? You've asked them a hundred times ... but they still leave a mess in the bathroom or leave the cap off the toothpaste.
Sometimes you might even be surprised by the strength of your response... you feel the anger brewing inside ... you clench your fists ... grit your teeth ... and then you go off on the scoundrel who left socks on the floor.
But is it really just about the socks?
What's REALLY fueling your response? The socks on the floor might be the thing that sparks off an old, unresolved emotion or trauma. Those unresolved emotions often get bottled up. Until someone pushes your buttons, that is ... and off you go.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could rewire those buttons so that when someone does push them, nothing happens, and you’re able to stay calm and respond with love and patience?
Good News! You CAN Rewire Your Hot-Buttons
You can easily do this rewiring yourself with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).
EFT empowers you to take control of the way you operate when you're annoyed. This do-it-yourself emotional acupuncture technique helps you to rewire your subtle energy system, and soothe your circuits so things don't bug you as much.
Now, EFT doesn't claim to solve all your relationship woes, but you are likely to feel better about 80 percent of the time. And that can mean a lot if you are looking to maximize friendship and romance.
You can learn the basics of EFT in my free online manual. It takes just a few minutes and can help you to conquer those destructive triggers quickly and easily, putting back the "elation" into your relationships.