Dr. Mercola March 25 2008 54,576 views
"The trick is to speak first from your three major feeling-zones:
Zone 1 is made up of your neck, shoulders and mid-back. When you’re tense in this zone it’s because you’re holding onto anger you haven’t communicated.
Zone 2 is your throat and chest. This zone tells you when you’re feeling sad by signaling you with constriction (“lump in the throat”) and a sense of heaviness.
Zone 3 is your stomach and beltline area. Tension and racy-queasy sensations (“butterflies”) tell you that you’re scared. "
CogSci, this is similar to a technique I use when supervising staff. It's called the "positive sandwich." Start with a compliment (but a true one!) Move on to specify what areas need improvement and how that might be approached. End with another positive, supportive statement. If you are honest in all 3 areas, the listener will be more apt to be open to all you have to say.
I realize the benefits of this technique in certain situations, but I am aware when it is being used with me and I immediately become annoyed.
I personally feel that it's manipulative and disingenuous. I always get the feeling that the speaker doesn't really respect me and that that they are either unintelligent or not independent thinkers if they have to employ a tactic rather than speak from the heart.
I haven't experienced this in years, but it's interesting to hear it's called the "positive sandwich". I've always disparagingly referred to it as the "management 101"!
Is this just me or have any of you had this reaction?