April 1, 2006
Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:
- Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
- Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
- Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
- DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
- Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
- Contributes to soil erosion.
- Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
- Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
- Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
- Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
- Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere.
- Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.
What are some uses of Dihydrogen Monoxide?
Despite the known dangers of DHMO, it continues to be used daily by industry, government, and even in private homes across the U.S. and worldwide. Some of the well-known uses of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:
- As an industrial solvent and coolant
- In nuclear power plants
- By the U.S. Navy in the propulsion systems of some older vessels
- By elite athletes to improve performance
- In the production of Styrofoam
- In biological and chemical weapons manufacture
- As a spray-on fire suppressant and retardant
- In abortion clinics
- As a major ingredient in many home-brewed bombs
- As a byproduct of hydrocarbon combustion in furnaces and air conditioning compressor operation
- In cult rituals
- By the Church of Scientology on their members and their members' families
- By both the KKK and the NAACP during rallies and marches
- By pedophiles and pornographers (for uses we'd rather not say here)
- By the clientele at a number of homosexual bath houses in New York City and San Francisco
- Historically, in Hitler's death camps in Nazi Germany, and in prisons in Turkey, Serbia, Croatia, Libya, Iraq and Iran
- In World War II prison camps in Japan, and in prisons in China, for various forms of torture
- By the Serbian military as authorized by Slobodan Milosevic in their recent ethnic cleansing campaign
- In animal research laboratories
- In pesticide production and distribution
This was intended to be an April Fool's joke, but we obviously missed it by one week. I apologize for the mistake but our entire staff has been challenged by the recent attacks on our site and this resulted in this article going out today rather than next week on April 1.
In case you did not receive yesterday's newsletter which explained the attacks on our site, here is the summary:
On March 23 the Mercola.com information servers were attacked by a source that does not want you to know the truth about the medical industry. All of the site's articles including those in yesterday's newsletter were therefore inaccessible to you for much of the day.
Fortunately, we have some of the best IT support on the Net and this attack failed to actually break into our website, though it did prevent access to the site to nearly everyone yesterday.
While it is difficult to determine the specific source of the attack, yesterday our new Town of Allopath online animated video that in an entertaining way sharply criticizes the current medical establishment spread extensively across the Web -- see this Yahoo news item about The Town of Allopath, for example -- likely prompting this retaliative attack from a company or organization that financially benefits from the corrupt conventional healthcare model. Please note:
Back to Original Comment that Was to Have Appeared in One Week, April 1, NOT Today,
If the above information doesn't concern you enough, it is very important that you read the Web site for further information.
And check the date of this article. By now, you've probably figured out that "Dihydrogen Monoxide" is otherwise known as water. It's good to remember sometimes that, if you mess with the statistics enough, anything can be made to seem dangerous ... allowing for both harmless hoaxes like this one and dangerous ones like the illusory menace of bird flu.
As long as we're on the subject, let me remind you of the water basics. Far from being dangerous, water should be your exclusive beverage. Try to have at least eight glasses of water a day. It would be best to have the water at room temperature; ice-cold water can be a trauma to the delicate lining of your stomach, unless you are overheated.
Do not drink tap water! Chlorine is a toxic chemical and should not be consumed in large quantities. And please don't fool yourself into thinking that you can tell your water is safe by the way it looks, tastes, or smells. Some contaminants in water are so harmful that they are measured in "parts per million" or "parts per billion." In other words, just a drop of these poisons added to gallons and gallons of water can be very harmful.
Just installing a filter to purify your drinking water may not be enough. You could still be exposed to contaminated water when you:
I would also recommend purchasing "Your Body's Many Cries For Water." It is the best book I know of that documents the usefulness of water. Dr. Batmanghelidj is a physician and does an excellent job. If you are a health care professional this book should be in your library.