Dr. Mercola March 22 2008 64,557 views
Developing a close-knit community of friends and making every effort to spend quality time with them whenever possible is an incredibly powerful contributing factor to health and longevity.
But why are some people so effortlessly popular and well liked, whereas others struggle to make friends?
Maybe because they follow these seven secrets of popularity:
1. Don’t Try to be Popular
When you seek to impress others, you hide your real self. This may temporarily impress some people, but in the long term it’s not sustainable.2. Think of Others
People appreciate those who are considerate. If you only talk about yourself, people will try to avoid you. When you brighten someone else’s life, you increase the wattage of your own.
3. Be Yourself
When you seek to meet others’ expectations, there is insincerity in your thought and actions. It’s just really hard work trying to be someone you’re not, and sooner or later people will see right through it.
4. Have a Big Heart
The world needs more warm hearts and fewer hot heads, so be magnanimous in your dealings with other people, forget small mistakes, and appreciate the positive contributions that other people make.
5. Reduce Your Ego
If you do good things, there is no need to act as your own self publicist.
6. Have a Sense of Humor
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Humor is a lubricating oil; it prevents friction and wins goodwill.
7. Follow Your Ideals Quietly
Ideals are to be lived and not talked about. Lead by example; if others follow, fine, but if not, that’s fine as well.
The merit system is offensive, but "self merit" without any credibility to back it up is even more offensive
Actually, before I could learn to love myself, I had to love many many other people. After a while I could see that I was very much like all those people I loved. But, yes, I went through some terribly lonely times before I could see this.
I had always understood "to thine own self be true" to mean that, even if sometimes you lie to others, never lie to yourself. I'd be interested in what others think, and I'll post a question about it in Yahoo! Answers, to find out the opinions of a variety of other people.
Good words! The Silver Rule is less known, but just as important. I was very introverted as a teenager--I have the shy gene, I guess. My one-step transformation to popularity was very simple: be there for your community.
I couldn't agree more!
I think that many of the celebrities we hear about are driven by terribly low self esteem. I do not envy them their fake relationships. It must be hell on earth! I got on the TV once in Japan for five minutes of fame and got just a glimpse of that dog-eat-dog, throw-away world. The grime was barely controlled enough so as not to show up on the tube. What an education for me! I wish everyone could see that, and then they would know how lucky they are.
celebrities want to be popular because it brings in the dollars.
"... blatant example of how wrong this article is..."... ?? Pretty harsh, there! Ok, ok: the article's title mentions popularity but the content is not about that! You're talking about celebrity fame/popularity, which is not based on who people really are at all, only how the general (manipulated) public perceives them.
POPULAR - regarded with FAVOR or APPROVAL by a particular set of people or the public
FAME - a widely known reputation
CELEBRITY - a famous or well known person
NOTORIETY - the condition of being widely but UNFAVORABLY known
These words do not mean the same thing.
While celebrities have fame - they do not necessarily have popularity
srubina: Fame has a positive connotation. Infamy is the term used for negative associations. While there is indeed a measure of both in any celebrities reputation, I was referring to the fame. It shifts at any given moment, but still drawing in crowds at the box office or landing gigs or pulling in business based on reputation means someone out there regards them favorably.
LadyPam: I don't think there is a distinction between celebrity popularity and on-the-street popularity. It's just a matter of magnitude. Like I said, it's not bad advice given in the article. It's just not the path to popularity.
Pat Ormsby: Yes, I agree that fame isn't all some think it is.