Dr. Mercola July 03 2002 4,124 views
Besides loving and trusting your spouse, supporting his or her personal goals and dreams may also be key to maintaining a happy marriage. People feel happiest in relationships where they feel the other person helps them achieve their own personal goals.
It's so easy to be blinded by physical attractiveness. Yet, individuals should evaluate what the other person is trying to accomplish in his or her own life and determine whether those goals are compatible with what they are trying to accomplish.
Individuals who perceived themselves as having high levels of support from their spouses in their personal pursuits reported greater marital satisfaction than their less-supported peers.
Further, those who agreed that they and their spouse were able to successfully work together to achieve shared goals, such as buying a home or having children, were also likely to report increased marital satisfaction.
Since the study showed only associations between marital satisfaction and spousal support, rather than a definite cause and effect, the authors note that they cannot conclude that spousal support of personal goals will cause marital satisfaction or vice versa.
When people are at the beginning of a potential romantic or close relationship they (should) think very closely about their own aspirations and whether the person will be supportive.
Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology June 2002;21:157-164
Studies have shown that one key to a successful marriage is maintaining a high level of affection right from the start. In other words, both partners behaving as lovers and remaining that way through time.
At a singles meeting twenty years ago Bill Hybels, senior pastor at Willow Creek Church, said one of the most profound things I have heard on this subject. He stated that the saddest and most unhappy people he knows are not those who never married, but those who married the wrong person.
A healthy marriage is one factor of physical and emotional wellness. Dr. Gottman is one of the best in the business. I would encourage reading this article several times if you are married, then pass it along to your married friends and family. It can have a huge impact on your health. Another book that I strongly recommend to couples is "Fighting for Your Marriage" by Markman, Stanley and Blumberg. The authors have worked with Dr. Gottman. The book provides some very practical communication strategies.