I was not aware of any clinical diagnosis regarding shyness, this is very interesting.  Would you happen to know the label they are using?  I guess this is just another way for pharma to sell meds to folks.....particularly sad since a very vunerable sector of our society is the youth. I am a very shy person....but don't plan to taking pills to resolve the issue.

The DSM-IV terms it "social phobia," or alternatively, "social anxiety disorder." There has been a disturbing trend lately to label behaviors that fall on the grey scale of normal as "disorders." Even worse, drugs have been developed to treat this particular condition.

I hesitate to label shyness as a disorder, but in some cases it is so extreme as to interfere with routine life activities. A few sessions with a therapist are often enough to explore the root of the problem and develop confidence.

I used to have to attend cocktail parties as part of my job and I never knew how to approach a group or initiate small talk. Later (much later, alas) I had a boss who socialized with ease. I finally asked her how she did it. Simple, she said. Everyone has something in common: a car, kids, a home, a lawn, an education. Ask them where they went to school...what has this drought done to their lawn...how they met the host of the party... it's actually easy. Confidence comes with age, too. Now I can walk up to a group of strangers and say, Hi, I'm new here, my name is Islander...and then they introduce themselves, and someone picks up the conversational frisbee, and Bob's your uncle!

I have been diagnosed with "social anxiety disorder."  

Examples:  I could not take my car in to have the oil changed for months because "they would look at me."  

I drove around the block several times because I could not walk through the door of the laundromat (everybody looks up when the door opens), and went home in tears with dirty laundry.  

Worst case:  I could not go to my son's wedding because in their church, the parents walk down the isle behind the couple (Horrors! A whole church full of people looking at me).  My son didn't understand (how could he, I didn't understand myself) and didn't speak to me for five years.  

I could never get out on a dance floor or go to a health club.  

This has been happening to me all my life.  It finally got so bad I had to wait until after dark to take out my garbage.  At that point, I realized there was something really wrong but didn't know what to do about it.

I read about the diagnosis, and it clicked.  I put together all the isolated incidents in my life and realized that it was all the same problem.  I saw a doctor and got diagnosed, just to be sure.  Of course, I will not take drugs.  

When I understood the basic problem, I just decided that I would acknowledge  the fear and do whatever it was that I wanted to do anyway.  I told myself that other people don't know what I am feeling, so I can be anybody I choose to be (confident, a social butterfly even).  After a few years of that behavior, it became my own.  

Now I am the first person to volunteer, the first one to introduce myself to a newcomer.  I take classes, go to the health club, shop in the fancy stores.  I have my hand out and a smile on my face in all situations.  People tell me how friendly I am.  I am comfortable with the new me.  

The old feelings come back sometimes when I am stressed, but now I know how to deal with them and I am no longer socially crippled.  And I can take out the trash at noon!

Perka, what an inspiring story!

In counseling, we call that "Fake it till you make it." Well done!

"Underneath that shy exterior is a lot of passion, skill, artistry, compassion, sensitivity, and power, No need to label one more way of walking through the world as a ‘problem’ that needs to be drugged."

Suppressing your inhibitions makes you normal.  Overcoming them makes you great.

Perka, I am - correction -was much the same way.  The cafeteria at college was my Waterloo.  I was always certain that every one of the 300 + people in the room was focused solely on me.  Crossing that huge room was a nightmare.  

But in college I also learned to overcome.  I had a couple extremely confident friends, and I began to imitate their behaviors.  And just like teaching the dog to wag his tail, acting the part began to change the underlying feelings.   It was a slow road, but I was blessed with opportunities to speak in public, and a cause sufficient to motivate me.  And most importantly, I was blessed with a DH who I knew was always in my corner, even if it was just the two of us against all 300 college kids :)

Now I am almost a attention glutton.  I (wierdly) relish speaking to large audiences, but small talk, socializing among acquaintences is still hard.  But that's ok!  Life would be dull without mountains to climb.

If everyone was loud and outgoing, though, there'd just be a lot of noise, and not much more actual substance being discussed. Shyness isn't a bad thing that needs to be corrected, it's just an opposite type of personality to someone who is extroverted. There's nothing wrong with either side... just let people be who they are.

I should clarify my prior post by saying that I am referring to just basic shyness, not actual disorders that prevent you from functioning. It's kind of like someone who washes their hands a lot versus someone who is OCD about it. The line can be a little blurry; you have to study long-term habits and what the behavior has kept you from doing to determine if it needs to change or if it's simply one of the unique quirks that make you who you are.

Highly Sensitive People (HSP's) are very vulnerable in this society to ridicule, abuse, and doctors who want to drug them.  They are also some of the greatest writers, poets, composers, philosophers, playwrights, artists, and teachers th world has known.  They feel things more intensely than others, and they have trouble realizing that the majority of people don't feel this intensity the way they do.

I'm an HSP and (perhaps as a result) a psychiatric survivor, but I will be returning to grad school soon.  I have decided that the world is a stage, and that I will approach every social situation as if I'm acting.  People don't have to know me--only my role.  I have been trying this lately, and it works wonders for reducing social anxiety. Acting is not like lying as I used to think, it is what everyone does, and for a sensitive person, it is liberation.

I think most artistic people are this way. I have never heard of this concept of a "HSP" but think I may be one (or at least a KSP--kinda sensitive person--LOL). I am artistic, and can be outgoing, I don't mind being around people or giving a speech, but I prefer to spend most of my time alone. I do seem to be more passionate about things than most people, feeling most emotions very strongly. I actually rather enjoy the concept. Despite the deep hurt I can feel, some of my best art and poetry have come out of those dark times. I wouldn't trade it for a "normal" life, ever.